Nguyen Trai 1923-2010
Nguyen Trai was a poet and songwriter who I met in 1970 when he was a “people to people” emissary from North Vietnam to the American Peace Movement.
Here is one of his sayings: "Be good to friends who are good to you, even be good to friends who are bad to you, for only friends will come with you on the long road to revolution."
Here's another, addressed to all of us: “My father used to recite to me a very significant verse when I was a child." You must not wait until the score is achieved to know who is the real hero." I repeated this sentence when I buried him, and pledged to look at life with the same eye. I would not wait until change has come to know that you represent the future.”
IN SEARCH OF SPRING AT MID-SPACE
In my mind, Spring symbolizes the holy moment and space where Heaven and Earth, Yin and Yang, meetto realize the most beautiful thing in life, which is Love. The famous poem by Nguyen Du, “Writing tocall up the souls” i.e. “Funeral Oration for Tenkinds of living beings” can be interpreted to meanthat Spring resides in every person even it is stolen by Nature and our philistine society, making manlive all his life in search of hope.
On many occasions I have asked myself :
Is it true that each lifetime
with its countless changes
passes through just two Springs
one at the moment of conception
feeling space lightly lift your steps
the other when your time
comes close to extinction
and between these two seasons
every passing day extracts a costly price ?
………….
I’ve traveled to various ends of the earth
visited numerous lands
looked for color, fragrance and the taste of Spring
seeing each individual human being
wondering if he or she has met up with Spring
when the heart was still burning with new growth
or is Spring merely hearsay
a tottery concept that always remains
a secret hope or hidden longing ?
…………..
I know that, to possess Spring
you need to barter sweat and blood
if necessary dare to sacrifice everything
and not just for yourself
because the body of Spring is divided up
among thousands, millions
like an immense symphony
embracing inhexaustible melodies
created by cries and laughter
the sounds of infinity echo in the universe.
……………
At a tender age I bid farewell to my homeland
each of my steps confused and worried
but from my limited horizons
Spring’s call seemed so vast, so great
I left behind rivers and waters
not looking back at the hills, mountains,
narrow streets and beloved ones
I came to sip the beautiful gait of Spring
like the ferment of sweet wine.
……………
Very often I also wondered :
how many miles must I travel to find a place
where compassion exists
how many oceans crossed
to reach the shore of happiness
how many pains suffered
to recognize a beating heart
how many days lived in silent and empty space
to come upon the value of a sweet laugh ?
..………….
Spring ! That’s it !
but my busy and divided mind asks
without getting answers
each smile faces untold challenges
whose definition is not found in any book
life being complete in itself.
……………
Since every coin has two different sides
any oath mixes gold with brass
since every joy carries its own sorrow
there are lives that die before birth
since there are people who arrive
without ever having walked
any smile can cover a sharp blade.
..…………..
Hey there, I say to myself, don’t be so greedy
as to hastily swallow Spring and choke
just tell yourself you are not able
to suddenly see tomorrow
if there really is a Spring
then someone may have hugged it
amid waves rolling on high seas
amid white clouds flying away
with never-ending dreams
in the world of abstraction
when confronted by Spring
every human will smile reluctanly and
hide their emotions
since life around you is both real and illusory.
………………
Before Spring prevailed
humans had been aware of her
but did not know her limitations
depth in love was understood as giving all :
soul, body, and faith
nothing left to regret
though in the middle of autumn
no leaf remains green
in the absence of love
life feels worse than seclusion
the moon shines with only half its light
lost on the long road to welcome Spring
nothing is exempt.
……………..
One time
those who never knew Spring
wished the Creator would give them
wings of a swan
to fly at will over sky and land
across mountains and clouds
leaving morose feelings on earth
for those buried in despair
when Spring is first met
life on earth had become a waste
wings turned to rags
filled with wind and dust
with time only to live in a hurry
days and nights remained silent and lonely
praying to themselves in distress.
…………….
How splendid is a fire kindled
in the middle of a long night !
I imagine I hear the fond call of my soul
suddenly awakening
I count each breath
in which my name is uttered
is it the prospect of seeing each other ?
or is it time to depart
never to see each other again ?
I sensed in her breath the fragrance of milk
hair falling on shoulders
and wonder, sitting there,
is it the flame itself or is someone
making me tremble with cold ?
….…………
It rains and rains endlessly
why doesn’t it stop ?
the white color of rain flows all around
so many times it has been said
Spring is a dream
or a difficult mathematics problem
you can’t expect to solve or wait for
the distance from here to there
is but a thin fiber of the heart.
……………
Meeting also means ending
Spring moves quietly into the realm of death
this Spring has more sadness
her high flying song knows how to welcome
and also how to drive away joy
bringing despair instead
reality leads you through mud,
stagnant water, bitterness, duplicity
and vying for place
Spring’s color is superficial
her enamel covers everything
she makes good-natured men cruel
growing canine, claws and a long tail
in the middle of green hair
gold pistil flower is mistaken for Spring
everyone to praise in a song.
……………..
Suddenly I long to return once again
to my old native roads
of fresh wind and blue rivers
endless nights listening to alarm bells
sounding the watch
hearing the sea blow salty winds
sails silently passing
when the sun is about to set
waves lapping shore echoing words of affection
desert tracks by the wharf
groves in the familiar road I use to invoke Spring
the first instant of undecided feeling
sunlight weaving its beam
on the lap of her blue sky dress
and shyly tilting palm hat
a quick glance
holding promise of a tryst
Spring comes only once
gradual, silent, half-opened
a wordless look
bearing the sound and light of bright sun.
…………….
Nothing is left after the storm has passed
just me alone in a restless long night
listening to drops of persistent rain on a sad roof
hands groping vaguely in space
I feel a piece of enormous wretchedness
carrying dust on the road to misery
suppose I never met Spring instead
each flower from its first bloom to withering
has been predestined by the laws of nature ?
a big day in my life is marked by rain
yet somehow I discover things I never dreamed of
the future and forever appear in music, poetry
in quiet feelings of confidence.
…………….
A day may come
from some certain corner of a sunny sky
to carry me once again into the shadow of Spring
lightly awaken my soul
bring me into wind and storm
suggest to me a moment of creation
in my innocence
I lose the courage to confront Spring
I push away dreams of boundless inspiration
of a complete, infinitely large heaven
instead the place I stand is fragile
space compressed into the end of the horizon.
…………….
A small spark makes everything bright
containing endless hope
like an early Spring morning with dew
on the young grass
reflecting, glistening
with sweet taste and fragrance.
……………..
Love, once inside a man
grows wings to fly high
I hold inside my private space
the universe of a million stars
focused in her embrace
a look is the true encounter between soul and nature.
…………..
Everyone says Spring is unique, a beautiful thing
but few can find her charming
when she pursues her own image
living my destiny in limbo for trivial days and months
oh how strange life is
sour and bitter
I tell myself life’s sweet
like lying on a swaying hammock
flying among the starry skies
landing on the floor of the moon’s palace
…………….
Some day
I will return to my old homeland
to see again the dim sunset
sampans leaning on the beach
water lapping the far shore
hugging a guitar, murmuring love songs
sensing its strings gradually break
Spring – you are a transparent crystal
a tiny flow in your body
can make me feel sharp pain
for a whole lunar season
my eyes moisten with tears
no words
half of me a smile
the other half is sadness and humiliation.
…………….
Ha !
if, to get close to Spring
one thousand days of future months and years
must be exchanged
I am ready to do it
seeing how splendid Spring is
makes people covet her so deeply
but if Spring is nothingness or a floating cloud
I must return to simple, cold reality.
……………
Between two Springs
everything is real
including the first day when, at the beginning of life
you speak the word Mother
you never know
when Spring will come in delicate steps
and wrap you in her cloak
without her, every day is doomsday
small ground covered with dead leaves
life, from all directions, keep on
singing, dancing, dozing
calling you away each morning.
…………….
Her hair hangs down on the embroidered pillow
soaked with young tears
soon drowned in bitterness
where are those golden dreams of the past ?
the promised road to pursue ?
no time to clap on a saddle
or for the horse to gallop down a portion of the road
my eyes close and silently return
is this because Spring has hastily swallowed her promise ?
……………..
I had a kin sister once
whose eyes were filled with dark rings
her long hair glossy and velvety
her laugh like the wind whistling in the night sea
worming its way into a pine forest
standing alone looking at a long distance
her eyes as immense as a carpet of cold souls
she knew, once born, she would live her days secluded
away from the scene and people
the distance between her beloved ones was
a thousand horizons
she comes shyly, in and out of silence
imbued with sad colors
preferring not to know Spring
because, to her, Spring is absurd
like the fate of Lady Kieu
wrongly born to live against her will
so as not to taste suffering
like drops of blood on the strings of a lute
listening to songs that tear up her bowels
no one wants to drink the full cup of bitterness
and separation in mid-life.
…………….
No human being really wants to hear monotonous melodies
or live for months and years in the same season
the future is a joke
I close my eyes
burning in the flame of multiform life
the sound of dawn forces my heart wide open.
…………..
What lies between two Springs
are existential questions of how it will be
the raison d’être
what is inserted into emptiness ?
who will answer – is it real or a dream ?
sweet Spring
if you simply bring flowers
young people will find you boring
a good night’s sleep, silently completed
does not surprise us
if only inanimate things are worshipped
truth cannot exist.
….…………
If you ask what is precious in life
you will never get an answer
like a boat in the middle of the ocean
with strong winds all around
never knowing which is larger :
the sky or your heart
when two Springs exist beyond
the sum of past and present
the world opens its arms to welcome an angel
understanding yourself can be extremely wonderful
otherwise, truth is always ineffective.
……………..
My dear Spring
the road we take together is full of blooming flowers
with their infinite fragrance and color
but why are our steps at fault
as we tiptoe in the early mornings
not daring to break the bricks we built
for the nice little house with windows
open to the clouds
like Saint Tan Vien who strolled in the forest
listening to boisterous holy music from the brook ?
having you means having everything
I will barter tomorrow
to get back a shadow of the setting sun
twilight is perhaps the only charming time.
………………
Thinking over my whole life, I fall deeper
into gloomy colors
a long way takes just a little rest
I never promised you love
but also won’t reserve for you
a garment made of blackest dye
each person’s life, though very happy, can’t avoid
bearing the gray color of yesterday
heavy with rain on top of our tiny souls.
………………
Standing between two Springs
my body snatched and torn
I am forced to accept, without a single lament and groan
an unlucky lot
water runs under the bridge
so blue and transparent
stained in smoke like a needle thrust into my heart
a stinging pain
reminds me not to forget that Spring exists
please don’t make haste
each feeling of hope carries with it a sin
that tortures my heart
I doze
the nightmare comes back every night
chasing Spring away
until my body rots
waiting and forever waiting.
…………..
No ! No !
mid-space never existed between two Springs
closely linked they are as one
yesterday’s sufferings are not far away
they join today to make a double image
coming together in harmony
we don’t see the sun yet
candles twinkle and vibrate
everything around you is happy
your face is naturally beautiful
each word a poem
sucked in through your lips as glossy as silk
flying high in an absolute galaxy.
……………..
Spring, O Spring
let me know where you reside
are you in time, or space or the realm of infinity ?
you are not mediocre but you are not miraculous either
humanity dedicates itself to you
with multi harmonious poetry
is happiness always reserved for those
who act in evil ways ?
…………….
How angry you must feel
towards those who possess superabundant Springs
but never comprehend what they contain
the flying melody of adolescence
or the harmonious breath of waiting hearts ?
is it the world we used to sing about
or just a single afternoon
standing, looking at each other
not understanding
how can we assess the depth of each minute
seeing each other in the midst of cold and warmth
fresh outside but stormy inside
safe and sound today but broken yesterday
like approaching sunlight
which, when you reach it
vanishes far away into the realm of space you can never see.
………………
There, there my love
life and Spring may choose opposing paths
even on the same road
no longer marching abreast
like troubled water in transparent dust
a stray sail without a wharf that suddenly kindles hope
the lamp of thousand candles whose light surrounds us
making of us the sun
earth and Spring are too distant
creating suspicions and daydreams
you say it is wonderful we have discovered Spring
but you see, my dear
everything begins again from zero
from a whirligig
a tear without words and toddler steps
don’t hate yourself if life proves to be
indifferent and unjust
not joyful, not made of roses or fragrance
or the color of Spring we used to nurture.
……………..
Listen my love
forget about desolate things in your sleep
take life for granted without waiting
nor expecting anything
if Spring is simply a poem
then I could summon her at any time
tomorrow will be true – or not
live today the life of yesterday
reality is quite close
yet so many blockheads drive it away.
..……………
Why is your tone so entreating ?
as if imploring me to have compassion
generosity, gratitude and understanding
my heart is still attached, still indebted
certainly not just the beauty of yesterday
but today’s adornment is makeshift
I never believed your smile would remain
freshly green forever
although space is boundless
there is always a horizon
even if you grow a thousand wings to fly
the next moment you must return to the old place.
……………
Departing, I hope for Spring to arrive like a flood
but on returning my life turns heavy
with worries, sadness and misery
no smile do I receive, nor find anyone to welcome
every look a cold and biting winter,
covered with gloomy colors
will I find Spring
on the road of a hundred miles
meeting her again at an unexpected stage
she is no longer splendid nor full of hardship
but at least gives me an answer to some part
of my mortality
in each human being
there is a bit of something precious
even if they are busy scrambling, entreating favors
with imploring mouths talking of boundless things
without an inch of trust or love.
……………..
Years pass but color remains
dark human faces radiant
my soul remains gloomy
I will leave again
to go upstream from river to brook
even as your voice in my ear says :
please don’t hurry
there is more than enough time
let’s wait
but my love
to wait would mean to commit a crime
guilty today and for posterity
life promised so much
but I don’t see anything accomplished
except for the small piece of Spring
that flickers in my dreams
many splendid and magnificent palaces
are only drawn on paper
with rooms that lock fairies inside
while sorcerers and ghosts make rain and wind
and morality
telling us to find inside it Spring
along with everything else that is precious.
…………….
My love
don’t say that things around us are callous or calculated
strange outside but close inside
suppose human faces are absent just for a second
would that make you miss them
so much you couldn’t bear it ?
a century has gone and looking back
I am stunned and scared that nothing lasts forever
the idea of Spring dangles within me
no longer concrete or bearing any image
so detestable were those merry-making parties
with delicacies rewarding lives lived with heavy loyalty
spoken words are brazen
I don’t believe that having Spring
for everyone in this world to enjoy
in early morning
is just a utopian hope and wish.
………….
To reconnect with Spring
voluntarily or reluctantly
though she may taste salty, sour, bitter
or her tunes dazzles my ear
and the debt of my previous life weighs
heavily on my shoulders
even if the road ahead is far, long and deserted
no one with whom to share my innermost feelings
where certain people are cowardly and suspicious.
…………..
I won’t feel sorry for myself
When Spring really resides in my heart
an ephemeral destiny will always become great
SINCE THE MERE FACT OF SEARCHING
PROVES THAT BOTH SPRING AND I DO EXIST./.
(Written in the 60s of last century)